Spectral Pirates

'The Pixie's Guide to Ridiculous Phobias'

Pogonophobia 

Definitition:  The irrational fear of beards..... tragic

Sideburns are also tremendously acceptable

'The Pixie's Word of the Moment'

Capitulate (verb)

Definition: To surrender completely and unconditionally

Example: I made him capitulate, bent him to my will.  He put up a convincing fight for a short while - but eventually he had to concede - I am far superior in a game of thumb war.

I thank you


The Pixie's Thesaurus of Rant was brought to you today by the letter V and the number 1984 and the flagrant abuse of the following websites: Dictionary.com

Infamous Moxy

'The Pixie's Word of the Moment'

Inveigle (verb)

Definition:  To persuade, entice, lure or snare by use of flattery, artful talk or inducements.

Example:  I shall summon my most disarming wit and gentility to inveigle my way into the family's home, quoth the bententacled beast, whereupon I shall feast on their eyeballs, unzip their skins and wear them like tiny jackets.  I may also do some hoovering... honestly their house is a mess...

and now for a new feature...

'The Pixie's Guide to Ridiculous Phobias'

Mingling Psychology and Linguistics to create a whole far less qualified than the sum of its parts.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Definition: The irrational fear of long words.  

Aaaah I love a good bit of mental health irony, I do. 

The Pixie's Thesaurus of Rant was brought to you today by the letter î and the number 2.473 and the flagrant abuse of the following websites: Dictionary.com

Magnificent Bastards!

'The Pixie's Word of the Moment'

Legerdemain (noun)

Definition: Sleight of hand or artful trickery - often associated with magicians and other professional tricksters.

Example: With such artful legerdemain, one would be forgiven for failing to notice the little blue pills and plentiful supply of prophylactics Lord Quimly Warner had been secreting about the ballroom, and indeed about his person, since his guests arrived.  Clearly our aged host intended the night's entertainment to be long lasting and somewhat reminiscent of De Sade's more fanciful soirees.  Happily, the observant Lord Crumbtwat and his ever present man servant, Mr Grumblecunt were able to alert the youthful and chaste Lady Foofington to the coming onslaught of debauchery before her delicate sensibilities were offended or her petticoats ruffled. 

Alas there was no escape from the delights of the most decadent of depravity for the rest of us.


I thank you



The Pixies Thesaurus of Rant was brought to you today by the letter æ and the number 19 and the flagrant abuse of the following websites: Dictionary.com

We are go for Cheesing it

Source of Making Everything Slightly Less Awful than it was a Week Ago No. 1

Co-Codamol and Diclofenac Cocktail.

In order to make this delightful little aperitif you will require the following ingredients:-

• Crippling back pain with possible central nervous system complications including numbness and tingling in the extremities and significant physical weakness down one side of the body*
• One willing medical professional with a prescription pad
• 30 mg Co-Codamol
• 50 mg Diclofenac

Combine 2 parts Co-Codamol with 1 part Diclofenac - ingest with some kind of food in order to avoid stomach ulcers and other unpleasant complications, sit back and enjoy the sensation of sinking into a warm bath.

Alternative Titles for the aforementioned cocktail include:-

• Happy Fun Time Dreamsicle
• The Obliterater
• The Time Altering Space Gibbon
• Super Awesome Double-Plus Goodness
• Goodnight Sweetheart
• Mr Bubbles
• Psychedelic Freak out Mash up
• Dave

*Author's note: This cocktail will not lessen the symptoms, but it will stop the imbiber from caring about them... or anything else for that matter...
except possibly that they are terribly grateful to their significant other for as yet omitting to stab them in the eye with a salad fork for their incessant rubbishness. 
Also your work colleagues and bosses will quickly become used to the phrase 'tripping balls' coming from your mouth.

I thank you





The Pixie's Thesaurus of Rant was brought to you today by the letter ô and the number 12.  No websites were harmed in the making of this entry.